The Glorious sunny face of the Starbucks mermaid issued free Starbucks Raspberry tea drinks this Friday afternoon.

A Bohle Analysis (using the infamous analtech anal-kit) revealed the composition of said drink:

• Sugar
• Water
• Raspberry
• Caffeine
• Ice

This unfortunate drink sent one of our hard-working graduate students home due to headaches and left another contemplating his “current policies for free food”.